ln less than a week, we’ll be in Addis Ababa, meeting this little boy, this small Dagim. I can’t even describe how terrified I am. I deal with rapists and drug dealers and crystal meth makers every day, and none of them scare me like this twenty-two pound boy.
One thing S. and I are both scared of is rejection. We’ve stored up all this love for this boy, but he’s a toddler now –he will recognize that everything he knows and likes is being taken from him –but he can’t understand language, so we can’t tell him all the things we want to tell him.
I’ve certainly been lonely in my life. And maybe a lot of only children are a little sensitive to rejection from their peers. Who knows what shyness is or where it goes? I’m not shy in the classroom (teaching), but in my personal life, I’ve been accused of a silent and daydreaming detachment.
I know that even if Dagim IS wary of us –he would be a little fool if here weren’t scared of two strangers—I know that over time, we will be everything a family is. I know how Shasta is when she’s in love with somebody. That little boy doesn’t stand a chance.
I once heard a recording of Louis Armstrong talking on the stage.
He told the story of being a little boy in Louisiana, and how his mother once sent him down to the river to fetch some water. He said he got down there, saw an alligator, dropped his bucket and ran home.
His mother stopped him on the porch and he said, “Mama, there’s a gator down there! He’s big and mean!”
And his mother said, “Son, you go down there and get us some water. Don’t you know that gator’s as scared of you as you are of it?”
Louis Armstrong laughed: “I told her, ‘Mama, if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, that water ain’t fit to drink!”
Today is Monday. Next Monday, we meet Dagim. I am Louis Armstrong!

5 comments
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July 29, 2008 at 1:15 am
graceling
Chris, you never fail to inspire me.
And are you implying that Shasta is relentless in her love? What a wonderful compliment (and a trait that I am sure both you and Dag have/will benefit from.)
I will keep you and your new little (big at 22 pounds!) boy in my prayers!
July 29, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Brandi
Hi Chris!
I have really enjoyed reading your blog-it is truly touching to view this whole process from a man’s perspective. I am always amazed at the emotion you share and how well you write about it. I just wanted to tell you to enjoy every minute of your trip to Ethiopia and your meeting with your baby boy-he is in for the time of his life with you and Shasta who were made to love him forever and always. I can’t explain to you the joy I feel when thinking about the meeting the three of you will have next week in Addis. It is one you will never forget and the three of you deserve it so much.
We’ll be thinking of you here in CA…Brandi
July 31, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Jana
Ha! Hi, Louie.
We are thinking about you guys. It certainly is understandable that you would feel terrified. We know a couple with one toddler. After she was born, when this couple and all the extended family were about to joyfully return home from the hospital, the husband had to excuse himself, run to the hospital lobby bathroom, and throw up. He was that terrified about bringing a baby home!
It’s huge. We will be praying for your and Dagim’s adjustment. I know he will come to adore you guys.
August 1, 2008 at 10:33 am
Joan
I was pretty terrified of the twins when they were born- I don’t think they knew enough to be scared of me. They were so tiny and fragile and there were tubes and wires coming out of them. Other people said they were cute- but part of me wasn’t sure. I felt surprised when people congratulated me. The thing I liked about them not looking like a diaper ad at birth was it made for a slower falling in love that I could savor. It grew and developed and it made each moment of connection more dear. I’m not sure what my point is exactly, but maybe that there are lots of different ways to meet your kids and for them to meet you, lots of different ways to fall in love with each other.
August 8, 2008 at 3:50 am
Sharon
I just checked out your blog for the first time and LOVE this post. Thanks for your authenticity. I had many of those same feelings and fears. But trust in the One who knit your family together. He doesn’t make mistakes and will be with you EVERY step.