No real news or great things to say, except that I have been surprised by happiness several times recently. Shasta has filled our kitchen with wonderful, home-cooked food again. I’ve had some good laughs at work with the mischievious MAX. I got an Arts grant that will enable me to take some time off work and write this summer or fall –I hope to combine this with the arrival of our little boy.
Lately, I’ve felt a little incompetent –very ungifted at daily tasks or grown up life. I don’t know how to change the brake pads on my car or how to cut and lay tile for a floor. I should fix things like the broken lawnmower cord. I’ve asked myself: what can I do instead? What am I good at instead? And the answer is, well, I’m not a popular or respected writer or intellectual. I’m not distinguished in my profession. I have trouble drawing mouths. What am I good at? I have some ability for remembering old Spider-man stories, Arthurian legends, and biographical details of Davy Crockett. I can listen. I can do more push-ups than most forty year olds I know. Not a very practical skill set.
But it occurred to me recently that these things might be very useful for a father– that, probably, these things can make me a good dad, and somehow, I’ve done something right after all. My father never showed me how to work on brakes, but he told me about Hercules when I was little. He taught me not to make fun of people for things they couldn’t change (like the way they look). He gave me his copy of On the Road. He insisted I have a dog when I was a little boy. He taught me to ride a bike. He pointed to the world and suggested I might fall in love with it, like he did.

6 comments
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July 3, 2008 at 3:21 am
Jennifer
Who needs to know how to change brake pads anyway. We PAY people to do that! You are a gifted writer, a good person and a good friend…the things that count! And push ups don’t hurt either! You will be a great dad.
P.S. Jody can tell you about laying tile….if you want to learn. He read a book about it and taught himself. It has only been useful once.
July 3, 2008 at 7:19 am
Sid
I remember, years ago, you changing a joint or something in your sink in Paris. I was very impressed and thought only professional plumbers could do that. Ok, I was a bit stupid, but I still can’t change a joint. Come to think of it you did make quite a mess, didn’t you? Well anyway, that doesn’t matter. You will be a great dad. Patience is key and you’ve got oodles of it.
July 3, 2008 at 8:24 am
Nicola
Why on earth would you want to fix brakes, you crazy person?! There are so many more interesting ways to spend a Saturday afternoon. I think storytelling is going to win out over tiling with little D every time.
July 3, 2008 at 9:51 am
graceling
Chris, I’ve never met you, but there is so much you share- the nuances of who you are, that come through as you write. These are the things that children remember about their parents, like you remember about your Dad. And these are the things that help them become good people- not fixing brakes or laying tile, but knowing how to think about the world. That is why you will be a great dad.
Although, little boys do like to make big messes, so based on what Sid said, it sounds like you should make sure to do some plumbing with your guy
July 3, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Nicole
I still have the memory of you holding Preston in the hospital when he was born with such loving care and a gentle manner, it just seemed so natural for you. You are patient, kind, a good role model, a hard worker, a gifted writer, motivated, inspired, respectful, gentle, playful, humorous…… all of these things make you an excellent father. You will be the one who lets him make a mess with paint and play in the rain… it’s your spirit and zest for life that you have to pass on to him.
July 8, 2008 at 12:32 am
wearemadeofloveandafrica
Well, this is a lovely bouquet of thoughts . . . I certainly didn’t expect people to comment on my self-doubt in such a nice way. For some reason, I thought people would be more interested in Genghis Khan . . . I guess I’m lucky in friends. Thank you.